FedEx or Fit In

Remember the movie “Cheaper By the Dozen”? Not the original but the newer one. (I’m too young for the older one!) In the midst of all the kids there was one kid that just didn’t seem to fit. He was the only one with red hair and glasses. His family all seemed to have the same interests with each other, and he liked the opposite. All his siblings called him “FedEx”. In the end, of course, they realized he did in fact belong, and they all realized how important he really was to the family.

I recently had a revelation from the Lord, showing me I have one of these kids. There is a child in the mix of my seven that has an extremely different personality than everyone else in our family. Now, all my children have unique personalities, likes, dislikes and giftings, but he is really different. I think the hard part for me is that he’s so completely different from me. Where I’m introverted and like it quiet, he’s the epitome of an extrovert and loves it loud and rowdy. Where I’m a realist and a planner, he’s a dreamer and an inventor. Where I like to go to bed early, he likes to stay up late. I like games at the table; he likes games in the yard. I like it neat and tidy; he can’t remember where to put his shoes when he comes in.

Any like or dislike I seem to have he has the opposite. This is what made me think of “FedEx” one day. What I realized though, is that instead of embracing his uniqueness and showing him that he was created just as he is by God for a wonderful purpose, I was trying to squeeze and press and fit him into my mold. And he just wasn’t fitting, so I’d get frustrated with him on a daily basis. The Lord really convicted me of this and reminded me that He is a creator, an inventor, a dreamer, and He created my son in His image.

Whoa. Boy, did I have some apologizing to do!

Now that I’ve seen this and apologized the hard part begins. I have to learn to embrace his personality and like and dislikes, step out of my comfort zone and do things he likes to show him I really enjoy him. Instead of trying to squash him into my mold I now need to figure out how to fit myself into his mold.
I know who I am. I know what I like. But he’s still searching, growing and learning about who he is. I don’t want him to believe there’s something wrong with him or that he doesn’t fit in because he’s different. I want him to know the God created him to be exactly who he is. Does he have weaknesses like messiness? Yes, but don’t we all. Do I want him to believe that his strengths are weaknesses? Absolutely not. I want him to know beyond a shadow of a doubt that his strengths are there for him to do great things for the Lord.

So, what am I going to do to accomplish this? First and foremost, just being aware of this has changed how I approach him. I still am in the habit of getting frustrated with him but I am consciously working on it and saying sorry when I mess up. Second, I asked him what he likes to do and am making an effort to do those things with him. Third, and certainly not least, I am lifting him and my shortcomings in this area to the Lord.

After all, He is the one who created my son and knows him better than I do. He loves him more than I do, and He knows what he’s capable of. He has plans for my son that I can’t even dream of. So, I’m trusting our great Creator with my child and following His lead.

Psalm 139:14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.

Sarah Schwab